How many women have written about the cloud hanging over our heads that says we can’t have everything. We don’t stop to think that ‘everything’ means different things to different people, yet when there’s two areas of your life hanging on a knife edge there’s an assumption that you’ll only be able to save one. At the moment my life is hectic, so does that mean something has got to give?

The day job is at it’s busy peak, it’s the time of year that I have multiple deadlines looming and my to-do list for the next three months is almost as long as the one for the last nine. Despite my vow not to take work home I still spent a Friday night finishing something off, accompanied by a glass of wine of course. At least I can’t be accused of slacking in light of starting my own business.

Day-to-day I’m developing a deep, but apparently not very meaningful, relationship with both BT & Vodafone, I’ve spent more time speaking to them than to my friends and family in the past couple of weeks. BT is a long haul stress, which is on the verge of an Ofcom complaint. The worst bit is that a couple of hundred pounds is nothing to them, but is worth making my life difficult for it seems.

My calf muscle injury is slowly recovering, but there are times it wipes me out. And I wish I could have got up and gone Spinning this morning.  At least I’m grateful that I still have the motivation, even if I don’t have the ability right now.

In between all of this I’m setting up the business. It’s exciting and most of the time quite fun. It’s also scary as hell and absolutely exhausting. Every day is a challenge just to persuade myself to get over my fears and just get on with it. I do know that whatever successes and failures come out of this it’s absolutely worth it, and I can do it.

And then I’m trying not to neglect my family and friends. I’m sure plenty of them could moan that I haven’t been in touch enough recently.

Plus I’m committed to making time to relax and chill out. I’ve worked to hard over the past couple of years to learn that if you are exhausted and run down you’re no good to anyone, taking time out as you go along is the only way to survive. I absolutely can’t burn myself out.

As lists goes that’s probably quite enough to contend with for the next couple of months. But some things you just can’t plan for. And that has come in the shape of a lovely, wonderful and gorgeous guy. Of course the fact that dating absolutely terrifies me makes it the most challenging thing out of all of the above. Stress, tiredness and moments of despair I can survive, I’ve got through much worse. I could teach BT a thing or two about dealing with stuff and moving on. Life is messy and annoying, but also fun and rewarding. But dating and relationships, well that’s just one big horror movie.

Meeting Mr Fireman (oh yes…) has been a bit of shock to the system. I have been quite self-delusional about the whole relationship thing for a long time. The lady hath protested too much in the past. My crimes are shocking. I now realise I was looking for the non-existent perfect guy, I think I subconsciously have been dating people who I knew it wouldn’t work out with and I am one big control freak who quite likes being single and having complete control over my life and my emotions. When it comes to dating I seem to have two personalities, Ice Queen or Cling-on. And they interchange at no notice, and probably confuse the hell out of any man who comes within a few hundred yards. Mr Fireman is a pretty awesome guy and has proven his worth, and now I need to step up to the mark and show him that I can be awesome too, because he really deserves that. Except I’m in No Mans Land… I don’t quite know what I’m meant to do next.

The law that says you can’t have everything probably decrees right now that I either get the business or the boy. That is a stupid rule. I’m not claiming it’s going to be easy, somehow I have to juggle a full-time job, putting just as many hours into the business and make time for a guy who works all sorts of shifts. But there is nothing I love more than to prove nothing is impossible. I refuse to choose between them. There is no such thing as having ‘everything’, and life has a habit of ignoring good timing. Good things don’t just happen you have to work for them. Patience, focus and dealing with what life throws at you as it happens is the only way to get what you want. And accepting that happy endings don’t exist… because who on earth would want something that makes you happy to end?