I am starting to realise there are going to be a generation of kids who, when asked how their parents met, a significant proportion will reply by saying “on the internet”. Internet dating has become fairly mainstream, and from my experience, whether they admit it or not I bet most people have friends who have tried dating on the internet at some point.

I first tried internet dating in 2006. Back then it was as a result of a speed dating event and I decided to give it a go. The experiment ended fairly quickly after I met someone through a mutual friend who I dated for a while. When I first moved to Durham I decided to give it another go for a short while, but again that ended when I met someone who I thought things might work out with. Again, they didn’t.

I’ve returned to internet dating once again, but with a much clearer understanding of what I want out of a relationship. And it started off fantastically. The first guy I met I was having so much fun with. Until this weekend when I was dumped out of the blue. I think his main problem was we weren’t seeing enough of each other. To be honest if an hours journey between us was enough to kill something that seemed to be a lot of fun and perhaps going somewhere, then he wasn’t the guy for me.

The biggest flaw in my internet dating plan is that I hate dating. Lots of people seem to enjoy this first rush of lust and infatuation, first kisses and everything else that comes with the start of a relationship. Not me. Sure the first kiss can be fun (as long as they are a good kisser!) but aside from that I find it stressful and quite scary. I’m so much happier once I’m past that stage. I’m much happier going on dates, once I know the person a bit better and am fairly confident that they are going to be around longer than a few weeks. I wouldn’t let a little bit of fear stop me doing anything else, so I just accept that it’s a hurdle that I have to learn to relax and enjoy.

Internet dating has really challenged me about my own beliefs about meeting someone. Once upon a time I thought that there was “the one” who I was fated to meet and live with happily ever after. Now I have completely different views. There is no ideal person, but there are people with whom I’ll have the right combination of chemistry and friendship. In addition to that they will have the same commitment to their relationship through the good and the bad, something I have seen my parents succeed in throughout their marriage. Internet dating just gives you a bigger pool of people to search through, and more chance of finding someone to have a relationship with.

Who knows whether I’ll find a relationship via the internet or in real life, but anything to increase the chances of meeting someone who I can share my life with has to be a good thing.