I have to admit that I am quite disappointed with my attitude these past few days. I’ve been all doom and gloom about the snow and missed out on really appreciating it for the relatively short time it is here. I can pinpoint the time I got fed up to when I waited almost an hour and a half for a bus that never came. This was last Thursday, the coldest day of the year. It wasn’t even the fault of the snow. It was the temperature. But that was it. I started to get sarcastic about the snow. Moan about it when it fell from the sky. Point out all it’s faults and the disruption it was causing. I became a snow hater.

However the sub-zero bus wait was probably the trigger. I think there was something darker and more unsettling behind my negativity. The fear of when the snow goes.

I love snow. It is exciting and amazing. It is fascinating from a scientific point of view. It is beautiful and photogenic. It is fun to walk in and play in. It has a calm and serene nature to it that makes me feel soothed as I watch it fall. But snow has always been fleeting. Never around long enough for me to totally and utterly fall for it. It comes along, dusts everything with white then a day or two later leaves again. I never know when it’s coming, and I make the most of it because it will be gone soon enough.

Not this year. This year it has stayed around. The four days I had it before Christmas I thought that would be it for now. I might see it on my return to Durham for a day or two, but I didn’t get my hopes up. However it’s still here. Over three weeks since it arrived. It’s starting to feel like it may never leave, but I have to accept it will. The more I enjoy it and embrace it the more it will break my heart when it is no more. I’m constantly anxious looking for signs that it’s on it’s way. My heart leaps when there’s a new snowfall but my head gets snappy. How dare it continue to tease me when soon it will all disappear?

I need to take it all in while it is still here. Be fascinated by the change from powdery snow to packed snow. Be in awe at icicles some more than 6ft long. Who knows when I’ll next get to walk through snow that’s almost up to the top of my wellies? Normally you’d have to pay a small fortune to fly abroad and spend a week in the snow. I have the luxury of living in it at the moment. This might be a once in a lifetime experience. I’ll be sad when it leaves, but if I marvel in it for the time being I’ll have the memories.

“God gave us memories that we might have roses in December.” ~J.M. Barrie, Courage, 1922 …and may I also suggest “snow in July”?