Room 101, penned by Orwell in Nineteen Eighty-Four, is the place where you are subjected to the worst things in the world. It seemed that Blog 101 might be an appropriate place to store all the things that I find unpleasant in this world. Unfortunately the BBC wouldn’t lend me Paul Merton, but in the style of Room 101 hopefully I can keep you entertained for the next couple of minutes with the things that I despise…

Parsnips

There are a few food items I can’t abide, including Marmite, but nothing offends me more than the parsnip. I swear I can smell them a mile off. I don’t care whether they’ve had a liaison with some honey and an oven, they are still awful. Horrible. In my family I have started a “we hate parsnips” movement. My niece and I have discussed getting badges made for next Christmas. I am disappointed that so many people seem to enjoy the parsnip, thankfully there are some of us that cannot be penetrated by it’s evil ways.

Crap Showers

I am a shower person. I’ve never been fussed by baths, I get bored after five minutes. The beauty of the shower is that you can hop in and out in a few minutes, or you can stay enjoying the warm wonderful water for quite sometime. Great showers rock. Unfortunately there are some rubbish showers out there that barely let out a trickle of water, there is no pressure and washing your hair takes half a day. I grew up with a crap shower (sorry mum & dad, but it is true!) so maybe it’s why I believe that they should be confined to a dump somewhere. There is no reason for a bad shower. Even if you don’t invest in a full on power shower the normal electric ones have improved vastly. Even my parents have a shower these days that I can be almost proud of!

Gardening

I don’t have green fingers. I can see all the benefits of gardening. I really do enjoy a nice garden. But I struggle to keep a pot plant alive in my kitchen. I have inherited a garden in my new flat and I hate being responsible for it. I’ve managed to mow one half of it once this summer. I did start on the second half, but the strimmer (I really begrudged buying a strimmer) went wrong… I tried to read the instructions, but it is all alien to me. I am not confining gardens to 101, or anyone elses ability to garden. I just wish the need for me to garden would go away!

Bad Customer Service

If you are a grumpy cynical person then you are probably great at comedy. If you have anger issues then campaigning may be right down your street. If you begrudge stopping your social life to deal with someone else then I’m sure there is room for another ‘IT’ girl in the pages of Closer. If you have any of the above traits do not, I repeat DO NOT, work in customer service. There is no excuse for bad customer service. The rules are simple, employ someone who likes people and put them on a desk or at the end of the phone. Yes there are some really horrible customers out there, but isn’t it more satisfying to deal with them with a smile whilst doing something underhand to get your revenge? I’ve worked in customer services many times and a majority of customers are lovely people who if you treat them nicely they will be nice back.

Brendan Cole

Strictly Come Dancing is back and so is Brendan Cole unfortunately. I don’t think he’s gorgeous. I won’t deny he has a lot of talent, but he isn’t the greatest dancer. He’s selfish and arrogant. The temper tantrums and high maintenance dramatics are unattractive, and getting boring to watch. The last straw was the freestyle dance last year. He devised a routine that didn’t suit his partner at all. It was all about him. And he’s not even a proper ‘bad boy’ he’s just an overgrown toddler who needs to have a good long sit on the naughty step and think about exactly how annoying he is. And that’s why I’m sending him to 101… because there he can’t bother anyone else!