—————————————-

BT,

You screwed up again. After our hours on the phone, back in 2008, I thought I’d finished with you. It was messy and tiring. You couldn’t accept that you had faults and seemed to forget conversations we’d had in the past, even if they were only mere hours before. I was hoping our relationship was over. Unfortunately I moved to an area where I had limited options. I couldn’t be alone so I felt I had to come back to you. Now I wonder if perhaps I could have coped, but life with you has to be better than nothing.

I’m sure all my friends think I’m a fool to have gone back. They’ve all heard about how you treated me. When you couldn’t satisfy my basic needs, they put up with my anger and my tears. But they don’t understand. Most of them are off cavorting with Sky or Virgin. I hear those who have amazing relationships with O2, the best they’ve ever had. But O2 won’t come here. They say I live too far out. They don’t want a long distance relationship.

And now you’re draining me again and I don’t know how to get out. I didn’t think I could hate you any more, but I do. You think you can just read my mind and give me things I didn’t ask for. When we spend time together you expect me to pay the whole bill even though you force me to have things I don’t want. There should be some give and take. But it seems I give time and money and you refuse to give me what you have promised.

I find it such I turn off that you’re stupid too. Today you wanted me to believe that £12.84 was £82.15. You told me something on the phone, when I checked what you’d written down it was wrong. You might have had some chance of fooling me if you hadn’t mixed up 4 and 5 before you lied. I want to be with someone who has the intelligence who can count to 10. Is that too much to ask?

I wish I could leave you. I really wish I could. But then I remember last time. The way you kept writing to me. I’m not sure if you lied on purpose, or if you really believed what you said. But it wasn’t true. You were mistaken. I was not in your debt.  You made the mistakes and I paid for them. I don’t know how to get away from you without the months of angst and pain and I can’t go through it all again.

One day I will move far away. I will find somewhere that has someone who can provide for me. I will find someone who will listen when I call and who will give me everything I want and need. I know they exist. I’ve been with them before and they were so much better than you.

I have no doubt we will speak again soon and you will claim I didn’t tell you how I feel. You will twist my words and make me feel a fool yet again.

Until then,

Helen

In terms of design I’m not an innovator. I consume ground breaking design with awe and reverence. I however am very good at absorbing things and understanding how they fit in and why they work. I may never produce anything that completely stands out from the crowd but I can most definitely spot good and bad design. I see the flaws. And those flaws irritate me. There are a few people in this world that create truly amazing design that makes us stop in our tracks.

Copenhagen Zoo Bus

But most people do something between acceptable and mediocre. There are the odd occasions that mediocre design actually does work. It can grab attention, and despite the fact it makes me cringe, it can achieve it’s aims. But the success stories of bad design are few and far between the failures.

For me there are three basic questions when evaluating and creating design. There are plenty of other questions to ask that build on those foundations but by answering those three questions I immediately tell if something is likely to achieve it’s aim or not.

• What is the key message?
• Who is it aimed at?
• What do you want those people to do as a result of seeing it?

I am constantly criticising my own work. But the cycles of self-criticism and improvement occasionally end up with something I’m really proud of. Often I just don’t have the hours to put into my quest for perfection and will be questioning typefaces and alignment long after I have finalised the design. I am a bitch to myself and I rarely meet my high levels of expectation when it comes to design. Even so I enjoy the process and somehow the fact I demand so much of myself just motivates me to continue learn and improve.

The realisation of what a bitch I can be about it came when I helped out a friend with their business cards. I’d helped out before and been asked to design the business cards a while ago as a favour. Fair enough I didn’t actually get round to it (in my defense I was ill, and then there was Christmas). Anyway I was emailed the design for my opinion. And I gave it. Plus a very quick revised design to try and do some damage control. But all I could see on the original design was something that said “amateur” and “early 90s” neither of which represent the business, or the talent behind it.

I do not apologise for my straight talking on the matter. If design is going to affect the perception of something that is important to someone I care about then there is no point in being all fluffy and caring about their feelings. Their feelings will be hurt much more if that bad design loses them a client or a sale. I only tell them straight because I care. And because I’m confident I do know better than them about design, communications and marketing. Again I don’t profess to be the best, or anywhere near that, but I would quite confidently say I do have a better idea than most. I love fixing bad design and making it effective. I freely give my time for the sake of eradicating disasters of the design world.

And if I can’t eradicate it I ignore it. I will switch off and I don’t engage.

There is no excuse for bad design. If you don’t have the time keep it simple and clean. If you can’t do it yourself then ask someone else to. If you come to me then don’t be offended if I pull it apart and put it back together again. Don’t feel bad if I destroy your hard work. I’m sure there are many areas of life you are more talented in than I am. The most valuable lesson I learned in my degree was that it doesn’t matter how much time you’ve spent on something, if it detracts from the goal then you have to lose it for the sake of your success.

I promise the bitch won’t seep into other areas of my life, but when it comes to design she’s staying put. Or getting on the next train out of the Lake District. But that my friends is another story for another time.

Until today I would have probably never used the word ‘Smartbook‘ in my blog or it’s lowercase neighbour. Let me explain. In the recent past people have been referring to devices that are somewhere between smartphones and netbooks as ’smartbooks’. First Smartbook defended their trademarked name by preventing other companies they compete with using it as a generic term. Resonable and understandable. But now they have decided to go after bloggers and the press too.

Stupid? If they are just doing this because they think they should and it is their right then they are stupid for not thinking through the consequences. The bloggers and the press are the people that will recommend or trash their products, or just fail to give them any column inches or bandwidth at all. They need these people to plug their product. Going after them and trying to take them to court is really a very foolish move. If this isn’t a ‘clever’ marketing trick then they are just plain idiotic.

Clever? If it is a ‘clever’ marketing trick they know it will get more headlines and more blogs about their product than they would by just putting products out there (e.g. I would have never mentioned them if it wasn’t for this). By being controversial and downright idiotic they are getting people talking about their company. More exposure means more people might know that Smartbook exists and check out their products.

Stupid? Or will it. That’s a very short term strategy, if it is a strategy at all. Once this media furore blows over they have damaged relationships with media companies and bloggers alike. They are going to have to work a damn sight harder to get positive reviews. Not to mention the damage to sales, people are very much driven by emotion and it’s much harder to be persuaded to part with the big bucks if you think you’re lining the pockets of the idiotic and power crazy people that run the company. If you are a power crazed idiotic individual it’s best not to shout about it, stay quiet and let your product talk for you (unless you are Michael O’Leary who seems to get away with it by offering stupidly cheap flights. I digress…)

If this is meant to be a clever and planned strategy it’s not a risk I would ever recommend taking. Bad publicity for short term hype is a huge gamble if you’re a company planning to be around for the long haul. As I suspect that this is meant to be a ‘clever’ marketing trick I’d suggest they sack their marketing director. Go find someone with the vision and ingenuity to come up with something that will get people talking, blogging and writing headlines without potentially causing long term damage. Apple do it all the time.

Thanks to Geek & Poke for making me giggle and then directing me towards Tech Crunch so I could get on my high horse to write this blog (on a Macbook not a Smartbook)

In this case it was what had been written, I don’t dare call it journalism, by Jan Moir about the untimely death of Stephen Gately. The article was originally called ‘Why there was nothing ‘natural’ about Stephen Gately’s death’. The later change in title doesn’t mask the shoddy lack of any talent or integrity in the writing. After stating “All the official reports point to a natural death, with no suspicious circumstances” she goes on to tell us all why in her opinion the death was sleazy and imply that it was as a result of being gay. “Another real sadness about Gately’s death is that it strikes another blow to the happy-ever-after myth of civil partnerships.”

Point One: Sleazy?
There is no proof anything suspicious happened to cause his death, nor that his death was in any way related to his relationship with his partner.

Point Two: Happy-ever-after myth of civil partnerships?
How many people died as a result of domestic violence, drugs and alcoholism in heterosexual relationships and marriage? Relationship problems are due to people. Not sexuality. These things happen to people straight or gay.

This attack on Stephen and on anyone in a gay relationship is ridiculous. There is no research. There is no balanced view. There is no reasoning. That is because it is rubbish. This woman gets paid to write absolute and utter rubbish.

It makes me so angry that people write and print this stuff. And more so that there is a willing audience in the UK to read it, believe and support bigoted views.

Earlier this week my attention was drawn by Katy Regan to an article she had written for the Daily Mail about her unconventional family life and her son starting school. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but some Daily Mail readers who saw fit to comment (103 comments in total, comments are now closed) lacked any perspective and viciously attacked Katy, her son and his father personally e.g.

“Unwanted children who cannot be guaranteed a pair of loving and co-habiting parents should be aborted. End of story. “

You would think this was an in depth article about some awful family struggle. It wasn’t. All Katy had done was write a light-hearted humorous piece about the trials and tribulations of family life when you’re not a family in the traditional sense. If the comments were debate and response that would be fine, I’m not saying everyone has to agree with Katy. But there is no need to accept or tolerate personal attacks. I suspect that along with the rest of the population there are single parents, divorcees and other categories of non-traditional family set ups amongst the Daily Mail readership.

It makes me angry. And I really don’t know what to do with that. I’m not the only one who finds their blood boiling whenever they happen across an article from the Daily Mail.

The Daily Mail has a circulation of about two million. That means there could be at least two million people in our country who believe and support the bigoted and prejudiced views spouted on a daily basis. I am all for free speech and people being entitled to opinions and debate. But the Daily Mail doesn’t encourage debate. The Daily Mail encourages hatred and intolerance. That is very different from opinion.

I avoid the Daily Mail where possible, but with the increase in social media find myself made aware of “stories” that anger me on a daily basis. Just because you are a tabloid does not mean you have an excuse for writing rubbish and influencing people in this way.

All I can do is rant. Write a blog that highlights the tripe and rant about it. It doesn’t achieve or improve anything. But what else can I do?

Update: If you aren’t all ranted out Charlie Brooker has written his over at The Guardian… and of course one thing we can do is complain to the Press Complaints Commission (www.pcc.org.uk) that the article breaches sections 1, 5 & 12 of it’s code of practice. Thanks Charlie!

Back in the late 80s my big sister would have loved a job at Waterstone’s. A decade ago when my friends and I started to look for part time jobs, Waterstone’s was the best of the best. Where could be better than a shop that sold books, with personality and passion.  How can it be that in the past decade Waterstone’s has gone from the place where bookworms love to one they loathe?

I admit a majority of my book buying activity is now through Amazon. But not all of it. I can still spend an hour or more browsing through the shelves of Waterstone’s and buying more books than I’m going to get through in a year (considering I have two shelves already packed to the brim with books that I’m still to be read!) Amazon is quick and easy when you know what your looking for, but it can never compensate for the experience of standing in a bookshop and browsing.

In my naivety I honestly believed that Waterstone’s was still one of the good guys. One of those businesses that had enough passion and innovation to adapt and survive through the changes to retail. When I was living in London I wasn’t that surprised to see the second Oxford Street store close. I thought the business may have to shrink. But done with responsibility and an understanding of customers it would still be a great business that would come through the other side.

But this week my attention has been drawn to an article in The Bookseller. And things aren’t good. It is regarding something called ‘The Hub’ which is a new(ish) distribution centre. It doesn’t seem to be working and there are some unhappy customers. What’s more worrying is the hundreds of comments in response that highlight just how unhappy Waterstone’s staff are. The people that were passionate, committed and motivated to do their jobs are pissed off. And if their comments are to be believed, the best staff are leaving in droves.

It’s one thing that makes me incredibly angry is bad management. People who are after profit at any cost, and often it can’t be done in a sustainable way. There are exceptions to this rule. Some big boys survive whilst treating their suppliers, staff and customers pretty badly, but most companies fail if they treat people this way for a long period of time. The ones who do get away with it are those who offer the cheapest products with the most convenience. Something Waterstone’s will never be able to do.

Waterstone’s fall into the bracket of companies who have/had a fantastic brand and great customer service. The can’t compete on price, but they can compete on ‘customer experience’. It seems that the management of Waterstone’s need to go back to basics and learn a thing or two about business. It’s simple – treat your staff with respect, invest time in them and give them responsibility. In turn they will look after your customers and make you profit. Waterstone’s staff used to have respect and responsibility, it seems that has been lost.

I really hope that someone somewhere steps in soon and brings Waterstone’s back to it’s former glory, before all the best staff leave. Much as I love the convenience of Amazon, I’ll be sad to lose the opportunity to browse and buy on a Saturday afternoon.

Of course I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and my thoughts to myself. I had to comment on the article itself…

As ‘The Bookseller’ has been banned in Waterstone’s I’m guessing Gerry Johnson won’t be reading this… but I’d hate to see them [Waterstone's] disappear off the high street so:

6) Capitalise on your USP. Don’t try to compete with or emulate Amazon on what they do well. You won’t win. Find what you do well and sell on that.

I am rather excited about this as I quite like winning things and getting awards, but it doesn’t happen all that often. In primary school my teachers commented on what a gracious loser I always was. Apparently I would always smile and be happy about the successes of my peers. My netball team in the primary school league ‘Thornber’s Thunderers’ lost every single match that year. I had two birthday parties with teams, one was an assault course and the other was a treasure hunt. My team lost both. I was a loser on my birthday!

As you can probably understand winning or being awarded something is a very lovely experience and one step closer to overshadowing my loser memories.

Now I have the ‘Honest Scrap’ award I have to share seven facts about myself and then pass this award on to my favourite seven (honest) blogs.

In the spirit of winning awards my seven facts are about things I have won:

1. I won a trophy for the best entry in the miscellaneous categories in the Children’s Tent at the Ainsdale Flower Show
2. We finally won the pub quiz at the Smoke Rooms in Clapham when our competitors/arch enemies ‘Southside Johnny’ went away for a week
3. I was elected Vice President Representation in the Students Union at Bournemouth University winning by a landslide
4. At the end of sixth form I won half of the ‘Monica & Chandler Award’ for best couple
5. My team won a quiz (and wine!) at a Royal Mail graduate event
6. I bought a ticket for my nieces primary school raffle and won a bottle of Martini Rosso. The worst prize ever!
7. I was given a bottle of champagne for being the first person in Sainsbury’s Southport to get 100% from a mystery shopper

And the seven honest bloggers I will pass the award to are:

1. Rats Saw God – a nice mix of thoughts, life and everything else. I always enjoy James’ posts.
2. Secret Diaries of a Wannabe Yummy Mammy - A wonderful woman who is using her blog (and Save One Mammy) to raise awareness of the problems of getting a divorce, getting custody but not being allowed to move back to the country she is from. She also keeps us updated on being a mammy and the trials and tribulations of dating!
3. Awful Library Books – Not just for librarians. These are the most awful books found in libraries and put into one blog by Mary & Holly. It is hilarious!
4. Graeme Watson Photography – A fantastic photoblog of excellent photography by an amateur who is very rapidly turning pro.
5. On Music, Maths and Moggies – The title says it all, an enjoyable read every time
6. Mister Phill – Phill is a professional photographer and his photos are so enjoyable to consume that is doesn’t matter if you know no one in them. He’s also one of the most honest pros you will find!
7. Whitespider1066 – Darren’s outdoor blog covers the TGO Challenge, hiking and outdoors info and life in general. Enjoyable even if you are an armchair hiker who keeps promising themselves they will put on their walking boots next weekend…

And of course don’t forget Jo’s Kitchen. Thank you Jo!!!

On the 1st October it will be a year since I decided to quit my job in London. One of the goals I set myself was to use more of my time to regularly write. Another thing I am proud to have achieved. My persistence in blogging has stopped me from being scared of putting words on a page, I’ll now happily write something I know is rubbish and come back and redraft it later. The difficulty used to be getting the thoughts from my head onto paper. Now the longest part of the task is usually uploading pictures, adding links and the final proofread.

I am also grateful for the existence of Twitter. Without that I’d still be writing to an audience of my closest friends and family. Twitter has allowed me to share my blog with so many, and I am so pleased that people enjoy reading it. And now it seems that people are starting to find my blog via other routes. A couple of weeks ago someone followed me on Twitter because they’d read my blog first!

It’s taken me over two and a half years to reach blog number 100. During that time my life has changed in many ways. Where will I be by blog 200? At the pace I’m writing now it’s likely to be in less than six months. The next few months will be lots of fun though. From October I’ll be a tutee for a few of the students at Trevelyan College. Once I get them settled in I’ll be challenging myself to write 50,000 words in a month thanks to NaNoWriMo. By December I’ll be ready to relax for Christmas and enjoy some time with friends and family. Before I know it, January will be here and I’ll be celebrating one year since my move to Durham. And I’d like to think that by the time I reach blog 200 I’ll have had something published somewhere other than here.

But I’m not wishing my time away. The past year has flown by and I want to enjoy as much of the here and now as possible. And share it with you.

The thing that needs to be said in my 100th blog is THANK YOU! Thanks to all of you who read my blog. If I hadn’t got Google Analytics letting me know that you are all out there I might have given up before now. The more you visited my website, the more I have written. You’ve stuck with me and been the life that my blog needed to survive and grow!

Anyway enough of the soppiness… time to write Blog 101!

There are becoming two strands to this, writing and business. This is where my wish list comes in. The things I’d love to be paid to do. The things I’d still want to do even if I won millions on the lottery and could choose not to work.

Journalism: A regular contributor to The Guardian (Weekend/The Guide/G2) and Marie Claire. A weekly/monthly column would be great, as well as the opportunity to write opinion, comment and features.

Novelist: Get the stories out of my head onto paper, but have a real deadline to work to. Deadlines are great for me. I will always achieve a deadline even if it means a couple of days with no sleep at all.

Business: Communications, HR and Marketing are all passions of mine, and predominantly self taught. But I have taken every opportunity to learn, train and build on my knowledge. I’d love to work with small businesses, who are passionate about what they do, as opposed to selling their soul and being obsessed about making as much money in the shortest time possible. My motivation for this is not to make millions myself, but to prove to the world that business can be about so much more than a huge profit. Local businesses run by people who care about the community. It’s the future.

Three careers not just one, but it’s something to aim for. However small steps are required. I’m not going to become a national literary treasure and saviour of North East small businesses overnight.

And as a blog is a chance to interact, not just broadcast this is where you, dear readers, get a chance to help me start taking those small steps in Journalism. Starting on the bottom rung. Do you know anyone who needs a writer? Online magazines, local newspapers… anyone or anything I could write for and get published? My blog is my portfolio and I’m pretty versatile on what I can write about.

If you do, please email me and with your contacts or direct them to my blog. Or both.

As for the aspirations of novelist and business I have plans there, too but you can’t possibly imagine how happy it would make me to get my writing out there, beyond the pages of helenthornber.com

Thank you lovely people for reading!

I found myself excited yesterday when I discovered I finally had a blog reader in Wales. South East Wales. Talbot Green to be precise. (A big hello if you are said person!!!). I was more excited about my blog reader in Wales than I was about the one I have in Delhi, India (though that is rather exciting too!)

But it’s only one person (who’s visited twice this past month… go you!) and I’m wondering why the Welsh aren’t popping over to helenthornber.com to have a read? It’s almost six months since I launched my blog in this format. Six months and only one person living within Welsh borders has actually visited it.

England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland have all had a few people having a read, but Wales there has been none. Every time I cast my eyes over the analytics Wales is just a big yellow bit of emptiness, no little orange blobs anywhere until now.

I even have good Welsh credentials. I have a majority of my Dad’s side of the family in North Wales, my parents lived there for a while back in the 1970s and my sister was born there. She even ended up back in Bangor for university. I might be an eighth Scottish when it comes to blood, but Wales is somewhere I will always associate with and with all the family ties and visits I might as well have Welsh blood in me too.

And how can I not be a huge fan of the country where Doctor Who and Torchwood are filmed? I think we’ve established I’m a big fan, but the fantasy that the cast and crew are lolling about on their breaks catching up on my latest offering isn’t even backed up by having a reader in Cardiff. Not one.

So why do the Welsh not visit me? Answers on the back of the postcard (or in the comments box below)… and if you know any Welsh people get them to visit helenthornber.com and comment on this blog too!

So this is why I wanted to blog and be up front about having just become an Amazon Associate. And why I have done it.

Interestingly the day after I first drafted this blog I came across Blog with Integrity which I have now signed up to. I like it when something pops up with perfect timing.

I’ve found over the past few months of blogging that I am recommending and mentioning books and movies, and more often than not linking to Amazon so people see what I’m referring to. I’ve struggled with whether it is “right” for me to become an Amazon Associate so if you guys happen to follow a link and buy the stuff I might make a bit of money (a very tiny bit of money) out of it.

In the end I decided that if I’m sending you guys to Amazon anyway, then I might as well. I’m not going to sell out, I’m pretty sure you’d stop reading my blog sharpish if it turned into a stream of blogs about buying books and DVDs. But in the event that I write a blog that mentions a book or movie then I will use my Amazon Associate account to link to it.

I’m not about to start bugging you with loads of adverts on my site. Even though a bit of extra bit of money could come in handy I prefer sites that don’t bombard me with adverts, and I’m guessing a majority of readers do too. If I do decide to promote or advertise something other than general day-to-day recommendations or mentions then I will let you know up front.

I hope this is ok with you guys? If I do ever recommend anything it’s because I actually think it is worth recommending. My sister did point out that our family has a habit of being “pathologically honest”.

For god sake I’m writing a blog asking you if it’s ok if I link to stuff on Amazon. I really am never going to be a millionaire am I?! Definitely not ruthless enough!!!

Below is the text from Blog with Integrity. You can sign the pledge too if you want.

———————————————-

BLOG with INTEGRITY

By displaying the Blog with Integrity badge or signing the pledge, I assert that the trust of my readers and the blogging community is important to me.

I treat others respectfully, attacking ideas and not people. I also welcome respectful disagreement with my own ideas.

I believe in intellectual property rights, providing links, citing sources, and crediting inspiration where appropriate.

I disclose my material relationships, policies and business practices. My readers will know the difference between editorial, advertorial, and advertising, should I choose to have it. If I do sponsored or paid posts, they are clearly marked.

When collaborating with marketers and PR professionals, I handle myself professionally and abide by basic journalistic standards.

I always present my honest opinions to the best of my ability.

I own my words. Even if I occasionally have to eat them.